Two ways to ruin a friendship forever

I've been thinking about this lately because a few people in my life are having rough spots and going through things, and I've tried to do my best to support them in their time of need. I've had a good many experiences with people over the years because of my kindness so I feel I'm a good reference as to what it takes to build a relationship with others as well as tear it down, and it's my understanding that some people don't seem to know when to quit when it comes to loved ones. So here's my views on the two most important things you never want to do no matter how torn up you are about it.

1) Become a banker. This is by far the worst thing you can ever do for a friend. I'm not talking about spotting someone $5 for a movie ticket, I mean loaning money. Real money. There is no quicker and easier way to drive a wedge between a life long cohort than to trust in them and accept their word on making a loan. For starters, that's what banks are for, to loan money. If they can't get a real loan they're a risk at not paying it back, so what makes you think you'll be any different? Write up and sign all the agreements in the World, in the end it comes down to two people who trusted each other and one taking advantage of that trust. Loaning money brings all the evils into a friendship that should never be there, disrespect, dishonesty, and greed. I've seen good people get taken for money when they were so sure it was the right thing to do, and others who never knew until it was too late. I've even done it myself, and over the years I've totaled up over $6000 that I will never see again from people who left my life as soon as they knew they had won. I finally learned my lesson but others still continue to do it daily, hoping the thing they see in people is real and valid. It isn't. Asking for money from a friend strains the very fabric of the friendship and can never be taken back or corrected. Love them, appreciate them, and give them your bank manager's card. You're not in the business of loaning money no matter how bad they may need it. Sorry to say but some people have to learn on their own to not get in over their head.

2) Keep score. This is a horrible way to associate with others. As good friends do I always offer to pay for drinks or food and have done so for years, but I've never counted the dollars because that's petty and shallow to do to people you appreciate. If they're a good enough friend they know their place and keep track of their actions, and they will come around and even it out one day. I've seen people go out for drinks and actually count to the dime what they owe or what someone else owes, or do the whole "I bought you a steak, you only bought me a burger, that's not fair" deal. Your true friends know what you do for them and they will always keep that with them, ready to reciprocate when the time comes. It's one thing to be surprised when a friend buys dinner, it's a whole other to expect them to because you paid last time, so it's their turn. Friends don't let trivial things like that get in the way, favors are done because they're important, checks are picked up out of being good people. In the end none of what is owed will ever matter anyway, so why count it? Trust in your friends to know you're a deserving person, as they are, and let them make their decisions based on that. If they forget you paid one night, it's forgotten. Dredging up the past only leads to animosity later. We can all be better people by accepting that.